Absolutely! Let’s turn all your coffee + carnivore content into a fun, snarky blog post that flows naturally for readers while giving them practical tips and personal stories. Here’s a draft you can use:
☕ Coffee and Carnivore: Bitter Truths, Butter Bombs, and Bean Water
Let’s talk coffee. Or not. Grab your favorite brew—or just some hot water with lemon—and settle in. Today, we’re diving into the question every carnivore secretly asks: Is coffee carnivore?
Spoiler alert: technically, no. Coffee comes from a plant (well, a seed, actually), not a cow or a chicken. If you’re a purist, that’s a hard “no.” But here’s the thing—like most things in life, it’s not black and white. Unless we’re talking about black coffee itself, which is, well… black.
How I Got Hooked (Even Though I Don’t Like Coffee)
I’ve never been a true coffee drinker. Bitter bean water? Hard pass. But then came Dave Asprey and Bulletproof Coffee. Blend some grass-fed butter, cream, electrolytes, maybe a little chocolate Relite, and suddenly it wasn’t bitter bean water anymore—it was frothy dessert in a blender. That’s how I got hooked.
Then came the funny part. I flew into Bozeman for the Steak and Butter Gang meetup, stood up to get off the plane, and I swear I heard the voice of God say, “Stop drinking coffee.” I looked around to see if anyone else heard it… nope. Just me. So I ditched coffee the whole time in Montana. Since then, I’ve been back and forth—2–3 days a week, sometimes less. And yesterday, I decided: daily coffee? We’re breaking up.
Ritual, Addiction, or Just Plain Habit?
Here’s the truth: I don’t crave coffee. No headaches, no withdrawals, no fetal-position-on-the-floor drama. For me, it was 100% ritual. A cozy, warm mug to hold while I journal, write, or think about life.
Let’s be real—half the people drinking coffee don’t actually like coffee. They like the sugar, the oat milk, the whipped cream, and the moment. The coffee is just the excuse.
Coffee Facts You Might Want to Know
Coffee isn’t innocent:
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It’s a plant seed, not an animal product.
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It leeches minerals from your body faster than a bad ex drains your bank account.
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Daily coffee can poke holes in your microbiome.
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It stains your teeth. (Because nothing says “youthful and vibrant” like beige molars.)
If you are going to drink coffee, choose wisely:
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Organic, toxin-free, mold-free is key. Coffee is heavily sprayed and often moldy—pounding it daily is like micro-dosing pesticides.
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Starbucks? Burnt bean juice with syrup. Tastes like an ashtray, costs six bucks.
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Better picks: Purity Coffee, Kion, LifeBoost, Bulletproof, or a local roaster. Small batch usually means fresher beans and less mold.
Avoid flavored coffees, K-cups, and super dark roasts that are basically burnt offerings to the coffee gods.
Coffee and Carnivore Experts
People smarter than me are on both sides:
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Dr. Ken Berry drinks coffee.
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Dr. Anthony Chaffee doesn’t touch it.
The takeaway? Your diet, your demons, your choice. Coffee is not the enemy—unless it’s running your life.
How to Quit (or Cut Back) Without Losing Your Mind
If you want to take a break, try a 30-day “Quiet Quit”:
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Swap coffee for hot water with lemon or herbal tea.
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Step into the morning sun—natural energy beats caffeine.
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Don’t mourn what you gave up. Don’t envy caffeine addicts.
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Check labels: caffeine hides in chocolate, sodas, supplements.
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Celebrate freedom: whiter teeth, fresher breath, steady energy.
The Bottom Line
Is coffee carnivore? Nope. Can you still drink it? Absolutely—if it serves you, not the other way around.
For me? Occasional coffee works, but I love the feeling of being free even more. Because freedom tastes better than burnt bean juice, every single day.
So, grab your cup—or don’t. And decide: is coffee your friend, your foe, or just frothy bean water in a mug?
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