Maintaining Identity and Purpose Beyond the Pilot Wife Life

pilot wife life

Keeping Purpose, Passion and Mission of One's Own

  What is it about the public that makes so many swoon about a pilot? They ask a million questions and can’t seem to get enough? Maybe it’s just the thrill of flight itself and the thought of being in that “magical office environment” as a job, 30-40,000 feet above the ground.


Whatever the case, as the pilot wife and family, it can seem like your own identity can get lost. Welcome to show #21 of the Pilot wife podcast.


There is a mystique to aviation, I suppose. After all,it is a bit of magic. I still call it PFM.  I still love a window seat, I still love to watch every takeoff; every landing. I love to look out when we're up above the clouds and imagine stepping out into that magical puffy carpet of white. To me it's just still very amazing. I've had the opportunity to be in the cockpit for takeoff, landing and soaring high up there, and I can see where the thrill definitely comes in, I mean it's there; it's definitely magical.


And a lot of people, not everybody, but some people will listen to this podcast and think I don't even know what you're talking about; I'm not in any way enthralled with the pilot.


My family was intrigued when I started dating a pilot, especially my brother.


I was 20 when I started in the profession, so in my early days most of my friends were involved in aviation. We were ticket counter; we were reservations; we were ramp; we were flight attendants; we were pilots.


We were that small community airline; regional airline who ultimately went on to the majors.


Our friends the people that we hung around with were all aviation, so we talked about it all day all night every party all the time and the break rooms probably got really boring for other people.


Yes, you get some silly questions, as part of the pilot wife life:

"What’s your route? Why doesn’t he know his schedule? Lack of understanding of the business."


I have LOVED being an aviation family, the pilot wife life; so I never had a problem talking about it.


At the same time, I am a very connected, busy person and have never allowed myself to be bored. I have many interests, sometimes too many.


The human experience fascinates me and I love hacking my thoughts, my experiences, by body and fitness and my performance in business and a career.


I’m a Peak Performance and mindset coach. I also coach on Business and Social Media Strategies.


So, first question for you - what do you do?


First, process your own thoughts around that questions, and the how you feel when people only want to talk about the pilot and his career.




Situation, thoughts, emotion, belief, action, result


Processing your own thoughts, feelings and emotions around any situation is key.


WHO are you? Without the other labels?


WHO do you want to be?


Who are you as a partner to your pilot?


WHO are you in regards to the other hats you wear and labels  “accept” for yourself?


Accept is a big word worth considering. What ARE you accepting? 


You have to pilot your own craft, so to speak. YOU are ultimately in charge of charting your flight plan, Choosing your destination, knowing how to course correct through turbulence and keeping your passengers (that would be the rest of the family, and your pilot, along with yourself) safe, as comfortable  as possible and taking care of YOU, too.


As they say - please secure your own oxygen mask first, before assisting others, and that is the goal if this podcast - to be your oxygen mask. To help you navigate the Pilot Wife Life.


Do you have a career?

Do you love it?

Do you have a passion, purpose and a mission?


These are important questions.


I recently interviewed Peyton Garland and her book, Not So By Myself.


As you listen to that particular one you'll hear Peyton share very authentically, vulnerably her own story of insecurities and anxiety once her husband left his job that he had when they got married as a sales REP for the Atlanta falcons to pursue his dream of being a pilot.


And what all that meant for her and and that many hats that she wore and the situation, she was in the thought she had around it, the emotions that brought up.


The actions that it created for her the beliefs and the actions and then the results. So her story is a great example of choosing to move herself outside of that situation, the situation didn't change, but she moved herself outside of the thought of being stuck.


Of of all the different labels that she was accepting for herself. So what are you currently accepting.


It can be challenging when we get buried under the roles of wife, mom, daughter, caregiver, PTA person, and so on.


WE choose to let go of other things - taking care of YOU - I don’t have time. I always put myself last.


WHY? Really, why?


People rise up to the level of expectation you set for them regarding YOU.


What’s the worst that can happen if you put yourself first. 

What's the worst that can happen if one afternoon a week you choose to put yourself first or one morning, or one evening; what if you joined a hiking club and said once a week, this is the date that i'm going hiking.


Find childcare, if you need to these are all things that can be done when we make it a priority.

When we get clear on who we are, who were becoming and who we want to be, and we work to maintain that identity that sense of purpose and passion and mission for ourselves,


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


No one “makes” us think, feel or act any specific way. We choose it, willingly, every time. We may be mad about it, but we choose it.


What do you love about your identity connected to aviation? Your pilot? How can you communicate that?

How can you communicate that first to yourself, and then to others, how can you develop a conversation when you feel like everything comes back around to the identity of the pilot or you as a pilot wife or spouse or partner.


And then how can you take steps to shift that to those areas that identify your passion your purpose and your mission.


Sometimes it starts just with being curious about other people, or even asking why do you ask so much about.


The pilot life, what is it about it that interests, you get people talking about their interest in that.


Very often, you will find that turns the table, and they will come back to you and ask you more about you.


Role play a lot of this for yourself; have fun with it be; light with it and know that you get to create you. Every second, of every day, it's all a choice, and so you have to be very clear, first and foremost on who your identity is.


 What your passion is what your purposes and what your mission is and it's fluid for most of us that's a very fluid thing it will change in and out over time, for the rest of your life.


Maybe you're not a parent yet, but you're going to be. Maybe you're in the midst of parenting toddlers that's a different role than you'll have when they get into school;  it's a different role they that you'll have them when they become teenagers and start to drive and go off to college and then ultimately become empty nesters.

Maybe become a grandparent like I recently become which is pure joy, like everybody says. Everybody tells you how much fun, that is, it is you get to love them and leave them and it's a great thing you have to spoil them and then step away.

What is best for you about the Pilot Wife Life?




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