Alcohol has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I grew up in a family where drinking was simply… normal. My parents drank, holidays involved alcohol, camping trips included beer coolers, and special events always came with wine or cocktails. There weren’t any raging drunks or family fights—just a culture of drinking that seemed ordinary and even celebratory.
Maybe this sounds familiar to you, too?
In this post (and in my video), I’m sharing my journey with alcohol: from childhood memories, teenage experiments, and drinking in my 20s, to questioning my habits in midlife, and finally, why I decided to throttle back the bottle in my 50s. I’ll also share the 3 questions that changed everything for me—questions I still use whenever I’m navigating a “sticky” situation with alcohol.
My Drinking Timeline: A Lifetime of Social Drinking
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Teen Years – My first drink happened in 7th grade on a dare at the movie theater by a girl I was afraid of, to be honest. Vodka from a baby food jar. It tasted horrible. I remember experiencing a deep feeling of disappointment in myself, for not refusing it. By 10th grade, I was weekend drinking at parties to “fit in.”
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My 20s – I worked in the airline industry, where drinking culture is quite strong. It went hand-in-hand with travel and social life. First class upgrades were common, as was walking off the airplane with a bag of minis or a couple of bottles of wine leftover from first class.
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Early Parenting – Alcohol wasn’t front and center, but there were weekly pizza-and-margarita nights in the cul-de-sac with neighbors, holiday parties with plenty of booze (and hangovers!) At this point, I never drank alone.
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Lake Arrowhead Years – Moving to a lake community introduced me to wine culture, yacht club gatherings, and boating with drinks in hand. It was a blast, and sadly, I have a lot of fuzzy memories. I'd love to have back some of the amazing music concerts I attended with little memory of. This is when I also started drinking alone, regularly, opening a bottle of wine to start cooking dinner.
By 2016, I started including “drink less” as one of my year-end goals. I didn’t see myself as someone with a drinking “problem,” but I knew my habits didn’t always align with who I wanted to be.
When I Started Asking Questions
In quiet moments—sometimes under the covers late at night—I started Googling:
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“How much is too much drinking?”
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“Is it okay to drink every day?”
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“How do you know if you’re an alcoholic?”
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“How can I drink less and still have fun?”
Almost everything pointed to AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). But I didn’t identify as an alcoholic, so it didn’t feel like the right fit. Instead, I found another world of resources:
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Quit Lit books (Glennon Doyle, Holly Whitaker, Ann Dowsett Johnston, Annie Grace)
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Podcasts with real women’s stories I could relate to
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Andrew Huberman’s neuroscience series on alcohol and its impact on the brain and body
Listening to these stories reminded me not to fall into comparison. My drinking might not have looked like two bottles of wine a night with tequila chasers—but that didn’t mean it wasn’t worth examining.
My Turning Point
By January 2020, I was trying (and failing) at Dry January. Then came COVID. Like many, I slipped into day drinking, sometimes pouring a glass down the sink mid-afternoon in frustration. I quit for six weeks, then caved at the lake.
But over time, patterns emerged:
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I could almost never stop at 1 drink. Two was my default, and occasionally I would down an entire bottle.
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I was a “cooking drinker”—wine while chopping vegetables.
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I was an anxiety drinker, pouring a glass when life felt overwhelming.
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And often, I was a mindless drinker, not being intentional or thoughtful.
In August 2022, I woke up and simply said: I’m done—for now. I didn’t label it forever. I didn’t count days. I just lived one day at a time.
The 3 Questions That Changed Everything
Whenever I wanted a drink, I started asking myself:
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Why do I want to drink right now?
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Will I drink?
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How will I feel in an hour, three hours, and tomorrow morning if I do?
These simple questions created a pause—a moment to step out of my primitive brain (which craves comfort and routine) and into my thoughtful, modern mind.
What I’ve Learned About Alcohol in Midlife
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Alcohol never actually reduced my anxiety long term—it only magnified it later.
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I never felt more equipped to deal with challenges because of alcohol.
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Sometimes drinking led me to act in ways that didn’t align with who I want to be.
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Alcohol blurred my memories of concerts, holidays, and special moments I now wish I remembered more clearly.
Today, I mightl occasionally drink—but always with full awareness and intention. No more buffering emotions, no more coping mechanism. Sometimes that looks like sharing a great bottle of wine with someone I love, in a joyful setting. But more often than not, I realize alcohol isn’t needed at all.
Why I Quit (Mostly) in My 50s
Ultimately, I quit because I want to live the rest of my life fully present, clear-headed, and aligned with my goals. Alcohol doesn’t fit into that vision.
If you’re rethinking your relationship with alcohol, know this: comparison won’t help you. Your journey is yours. Whether you drink, cut back, or quit completely, the important part is understanding why you do what you do.
If you’d like support, grab my free guide: Throttle Back the Bottle – a resource to help you “reroute” your relationship with alcohol.
And if this resonated, subscribe to my YouTube channel where I’ll be sharing more about alcohol and its connection to sleep, weight, relationships, and even intimacy.
Because comparison is the thief of joy—and sometimes, alcohol is its accomplice.
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